Police Beat: Observe & Report

I enjoy reading the BYU Police Beat. It’s always full of entertaining entries about things that only get reported at BYU. Skateboarding on campus, public “mooning” from a car, EFY kids reading scriptures on the sidewalk. There was even an entry in April about some idiots trying to “jimmy rig” a hot tub in the back of their Chevy truck. Most of the entries are humorous, and they are written that way, but not blog worthy. However, there was one entry a few weeks ago that was more than blog worthy. It details the account of one young couple enjoying their evening out. Imagine their surprise when they are caught fully clothed, before midnight, swapping a little spit outside one of their apartments. I can imagine they both laughed, but felt slightly embarrassed and perhaps even a little disappointed.

July 8: A student reported a sex offense occurring at Wyview Park. When an officer arrived, he found a male and female making out. Both parties were clothed. The officer suggested they find another location to continue such activities.

I don’t know how Jacob does it. How is a fully clothed couple supposed to enjoy a nice evening out and end it with a little friendly tongue wrestling? How about being reported by some lonely person with their lights out peeking out of their blinds and looking to report couples enjoying their evening while still honoring the BYU Honor Code. Imagine being interrupted by a police officer called specifically to see if a “sexual offense” was taking place, finding you fully clothed and simply kissing. At least you weren’t inside the apartment after midnight, or worse, on the other side of the chastity line in his/her/your room.

Do I sound like a whiner? Perhaps, but can a couple just get a good snogging session in while still living by the BYU Honor Code?

I can picture it now. Jacob is walking a girl to her door after their date, holding hands with her or conveniently placing his hand on the small of her back.

Girl: “I had such a nice evening Jacob. Thank you.” (of course dangling her apartment keys)

Jacob: “I had a great evening too.”

(Pause)

Girl: “I think I kind of like you a little bit.” (smiling, bringing herself closer to him, still dangling her keys thinking Jacob is clueless as to what she wants)

Jacob: “******** I kind of like you too, and I would totally give you a kiss right now, but I don’t want one of your neighbors reporting us to the BYU Campus Police as a possible sex offense.”

Knowing Jacob, he’ll probably chime in with a story just like this. I can’t wait.

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3 Responses to Police Beat: Observe & Report

  1. Wow, that is SO embarrassing! I wonder how you would move on from something like that? Just go to a different park? 😉

  2. Carissa says:

    There is a really big part of me that wants to visit SLC just to be in awe of how different it is.

  3. And in yesterdays Police Beat:

    July 26: At 3:30 in the morning, a custodian said she saw a car parked in an unauthorized area, taking up multiple parking spots. She said a man inside the car ducked down when he saw her. When police arrived, they found two students kissing in the front seat. The police advised the students to take their activities to another location.

    3:30 am may be a little late, but really? Calling the cops because you see some car parked in an “unauthorized area” and taking up multiple parking spots. Come on, the parking spot was the last thing the guy was thinking of.

    How’s that for different Carissa? Twice in one month, kissing in a public place turned into the police.

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